The Outlands Odyssey, Part 1: Mud.

Our heroes began not far from the corpse of the Mind Flayer Proxy, and the Rotting Oracle. They dithered with a ritual spell so I threw the psychic storm at them. The facts were mostly facts about other D&D games I play/run and in-jokes about Xanathar’s goldfish, and their randomness went down well. Examining the dead Mind Flayer and finding nothing, the party focused on their objective and left the Rotting Oracle, thankfully avoiding Blvastin (who needs renaming in this day and age, because Blvastin sounds like a pharmaceutical).

Marching order established, the party headed on. It was muddy, drizzling rain, and pretty miserable. And getting darker: so dark, none of them noticed the signs of an Umber Hulk and some Rust Monsters lurking in the mud for them, exploding from the ground in a shower of earth. The Umber Hulk got some dangerous hits in against 12-Bar, and M’narr dodged a dozen Rust Monster attacks before they finally corroded his breastplate. But before long, the Rust Monsters lay dead (Thunderwave’s a bitch) and the party escaped the Umber Hulk’s confusion aura. Facing the prospect of being spellsniped to death, the Umber Hulk fled. After a short rest (M’narr conjured an ornate rug; 12-Bar stood), the trail picked up again. They marched on till 2am, eventually hunkering down in the mud that by now caked their legs below the knee. I asked each player to share a bad habit that was annoying the others. 12-Bar’s a whistler; M’narr’s spitting had got wildly out of hand; and Ragados was throwing stones at his own Homunculus, which our Modron took particular exception to.

But they slept. The next day, after another few hours of trudging through the mud, they finally made it to a dry and dusty plain. Nevada style. Starting to worry about their rations, and seeing the dark birds perched on the huge statue ahead, M’narr attacked the Wastrels out of vague boredom…

So it was initiative! I ran 3 swarms of Wastrels, one for each party member. The plan was for them to hit and then retreat, circling 300ft overhead and wearing the party down. The Wastrels hadn’t counted on 12-Bar using Booming Blade against them, which is the perfect spell to punish flighty types. The malevolent birds got some hits in but were quickly smashed to shit with thunder damage. Swarms reforming (and pooling the remains of their hit points) wasn’t enough to save them.

The threat dead, the Sphinx statue remained. 12-Bar cast Fly and carried M’narr up (at a hilariously sluggish 5 ft/round) for a look. M’narr used his Guvner ability to read the statue – “Welcome to Thebestys” – and rolled well enough to find the disturbed earth where the lockbox full of gemstones lay. The pair scanned the horizon – deserts and mountains as far as the eye could see. Noting that the gemstones were almost certainly stolen, M’narr made a mental note to fence them as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

Travelling on, they met a trade caravan. Things were a little awkward at first – our wary heroes used magic to hide, and their sudden appearance alongside the traders caused some alarm – but they quickly got settled. There was a sense of relief and relaxation from this encounter; this only happened because of all the earlier encounters. Do not underestimate the power of a hot meal and a friendly face after days alone in the wilderness. 12-Bar played some songs, and M’narr was able to get a part-exchange deal on a new breastplate. Ragados got offended at the idea that the dwarves of the Dwarven Mountain could make better gear than he. The party got enough chant to get their rough bearings in the Outlands (“Oh fuck, this is the chaotic evil side of the map...”), and slept with full bellies and warm air.

Parting from the merchants, the next day they headed off alone and were beset by Leomarh. Ragados had a moment of horror upon realising that Leomarh could become invisible, but M’narr scared out the would-be ambushers. Their plan foiled, it was easy for the party to smash them with spells. 2 escaped alive. The party rested that night in the rock field. As they journeyed on the next morning through the rock field, they noticed the wind picking up, and getting stronger and stronger. Eventually, the wind nearly deafening at this stage, its source appeared. The rock field gave way to a strip of grassy plane, and beyond that, an earthy crater several miles wide.  Above it, hundreds of stones and boulders swirled through the air, held aloft by an unknown force. All the while, the maddening winds howl on…